Adventures in Rejection, Parenting, and Not-Quite-Relaxing

Or how I'm still a beginner when it comes to enjoyment.

Doggy’s spiritual home

This week I am on holiday. Holidays are scary because you’re supposed to have a nice time all the time. You’re supposed to relax and enjoy the break and not be a super-anxious, stressy, uptight person who doesn’t know how to relax (beside lying in bed, reading books).

I used to rely on alcohol for relaxation. It worked so well that I didn’t have a care in the world… until that became its own problem.

These days, holidays still tend to feature at least three major stress points: getting there, leaving, and, of course, a midpoint twist to raise the stakes. I’m trying to become someone who doesn’t subconsciously create drama to appreciate peace. Wish me luck.

Writing News: A Prize and Fresh Perspective

Those of you who’ve been following my updates (thank you!) might remember that my book recently went out on submission—and won a prize.*

I entered the Modern Muse Five Pages Contest after reading

Summer Koester

’s newsletter. It inspired me to give it a shot. The prize was a developmental critique of my first chapter, and I was thrilled to receive such detailed and thoughtful feedback from the editors.

I’ll share an excerpt once I’ve incorporated their notes. (I’ve put in a holiday request with Baby Boy.)

This whole experience reminded me how vital moments of support and validation are when working on a long-term creative project. Writing can feel lonely and uncertain, and rejections are inevitable when we take risks. Wins like this remind me why I’m driven to tell these stories—because they matter to people.

As I tell my students, rejection is part of the writer’s life (and maybe life in general, if you’re doing it right?). It means you’re doing the work: finishing pieces, sharing them, and bringing them to market.

I’ve faced so much rejection, and while it still stings, I’ve gotten better at pushing through. Sophie Hannah’s Dream Author coaching has been helping me with that since finishing a first draft of a new novel last year.

And pushing through does pay off—right now, I’m in talks with a wonderful editor about a version of my non-fiction book that explores the connection between neurodiversity and addiction, weaving my own experiences with the latest research. I’m excited to dig deeper into this topic and share what I learn. Fingers crossed, I’ll have official book news soon!

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On Memoir (and Whether It’s for Me)

Memoir is a tough sell right now, especially for non-celebrities. My agent has been clear about that. Sometimes I wonder if not selling the book in its original form (yet) is a gift. Some of the material is still recent and raw—perhaps it’s better for me to keep it private, a project I wrote for my own healing. Not every painful experience needs to be turned into literary gold, right? And honestly, maybe I’m just not cut out for memoir.

I’ve been battling a lot of baby-related anxiety lately. My best friend from school calls it “a huge side effect of being a mother.” Ouch. It’s exhausting, and I’m hoping it eases soon. If you have tips for staying calm as a parent, please send them my way!

Baby Boy is 20 months old now, and already showing signs of being an incredible diva, much like his Iaia (my mum). When I try to stop him from doing something dangerous, he collapses into a flailing heap, shrieking like his bones have turned to jelly. It’s almost impossible to pick him up. For now, I still have the size advantage, but just barely.

Raising a human is no small feat. Since giving birth, I’ve found myself nodding at all mothers with newfound camaraderie and admiration. How do people keep their children alive and stay sane?

Luckily, alongside the constant low-level anxiety, Baby Boy makes me laugh daily. Just this morning, he pooped himself inside a miniature ice cream van and then refused to get out, begging to live there forever in his own filth.

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Contests, Writing, and Taking Risks

If you have a project that fits, I encourage you to look for contests. They offer helpful deadlines and the chance for feedback or even prizes. For memoir writers, the Modern Muse contest runs quarterly and is well worth a shot.

Competitions were how I first knew I was on the right track as a writer. Amidst the rejections, I won mentoring, residencies, and even (occasionally) money! This summer, I’ve returned to the practice and recommend it to anyone trying to progress their work-in-progress.

So thanks to

Summer Koester

for sharing the opportunity. And to Bridget Boland and Lisa Glasgow, the editors at Modern Muse who critiqued my work.

I hope to have more time to write, and submit to competitions, in the coming weeks… (Baby willing.)

*I posted this a while ago, then learned I wasn’t supposed to yet, because it hadn’t been announced yet, so I deleted it.

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Chelsey Flood is the author of award-winning novels Infinite Sky and Nightwanderers, and a senior lecturer in creative writing at UWE. She is currently working on a book about getting sober and then finding out she’s autistic/ADHD, and her first domestic thriller.