Best of luck, Chelsey, and no you aren't being self indulgent in what you write about whilst the world devolves into horror around us.
There are a million people, news sites, traditional print media, progressive podcasters and the rest all covering those things. I know because it seems I have subscribed to absolutely every single one of them.
I came here for some peace from it and a reminder that I need to take care of myself and my problems because without doing so I can never be of any help to anyone else, at all.
So thank you for the past hour or two talking about some shared and some unshared issues with understanding and compassion. It was worthwhile you doing so, at least for one person, me.
It is! And it feels so relaxing when you get it. I get a lot from listening to the ADHD Adults podcast because they admit/don't shy away from how debilitating ADHD is. Lately, I'm really not getting any superpower vibes from diagnosis AT ALL! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment and sending a hug back! It's exhausting and infuriating so rest up without guilt whenever you get chance! <3
Gosh I sure do love you. I don’t even know you, but reading this is like a letter from a good friend. One WHO GETS IT. I can’t wait to read your book.
I like the honesty about the grim. They happened. They’re real. And when I hear your grimness, mine seems more bearable, normalized and easier to accept.
Thanks Celia! That is a lovely comment, and I appreciate it very much. It's really good to hear you a) have grimness and b) that reading about mine helps you with yours. It always feels wrong to post such honesty about the disaster I can be : D
So thanks for reminding me why I take the risk of doing it. And I hope you will love the book! It's really coming together and the urgency of looming deadline is finally kicking in... x
I almost don’t want to say this but since I quit my job I’ve drunk a lot less, particularly as I’ve settled into the peace of unemployment (I also don’t have kids)
When did you quit?? Unemployment sounds so peaceful. Though of course, a salary also brings peace. I hope you find a way to make things worse that doesn't require you to drink to cope. <3
Ahhhhh this made me well up, can’t tell you how much it struck a chord. I’m not sure whether it’s the general horrific backdrop or something in the water recently, but a lot of my favourite sober neurodivergent writers seem to be going through this at the mo.
I sat in a pub last night nursing a 0% beer, bargaining with myself that if I still wanted a ‘real’ beer afterwards, I could have it. I’m so, so thankful that I finished that first one and hotfooted it home back to bed. The post-diagnosis outta-nowhere blues are the fuckin worst. Keep trying to tell myself that this just means I’m in the middle of the next breakthrough?????
Either way, solidarity and thank you again for always seeming to write my brain!! I really hope you can give yourself the continued compassion that you deserve; you’re trying your best xx
Oh, I am glad. Not that you well up, but that it struck a chord. Ok and prob that you well up cos impact. Hehe.
And well done for going home without giving in to the temptation!!! No small feat. I'm going back to AA, to see if it helps with my inner voice, which lately is a cruel master. I recall 'prayer' by which I mean talking to self/planet earth helped me have more loving self talk.
Also dreaming of creating whatever it is I need - maybe just a solidarity support situation...? But no bandwidth also so maybe not.
Yes, post-diagnosis outta-nowhere blues, really are the worst. I will tell myself the same thing. Heading for a breakthrough! It HAS to be true, right?????
What do you think about all the neurodiversity coaches? Do they just help us not to beat ourselves up? Wonder if it's worth a try or just more of the same stuff that doesn't work (oops, there's that world-renowned positivity again...)
Thanks for the solidarity. I'm trying again today to be compash. I really am trying my best! Sending the same ever-necessary message back to you, too. Goodest lucks!
Also, I just reread my post and DEAR GOD the typos. FFS. Ouch. Etc. Thanks for reading in spite of imperfectch : D
Yeah I'm looking to set up a support circle online, but I think for pre-diagnosis womxn for now, as I think they're often in even more of a pickle than we are??
The neurodiversity coach thing is particularly interesting to me lately, as I'm a quarter through a 2-year course - but it's for standard, neurotypical coaching/counselling, and I'm finding it quite difficult to translate the techniques into a ND-friendly approach. E.g. we are discouraged strongly from addressing things head-on or giving any obvious advice - unless directly asked (then still be very, very sparing), but I find as an autistic person, why the f would we want more smoke and mirrors!?!?!?!
Chelsey, I think we are genuinely living the same life in different bodies, in different countries: yesterday I got a letter from the council because I'd misread a letter about a missed payment plan payment (I had stored it in my head as 31st September - Jesus H Christ)... because the letter was also in Dutch and I just skim reads the bits I can understand. Not sure how I made a new date in the calendar tho... you're not alone.
Fascinating. I can totally see why not advised to give advice as people are complex and there are often no easy fixes or you are only getting a warped pov on the picture... Have you seen Peep Show when jez becomes a life coach It;s the best. (I might sack everything off and watch it myself actually, another day of disasters over here!!) He's like 'If you've *ever* thought of dumping your partner, you should ***definitely*** do it'
But yes dear god, as an autistic, therapists asking me qs when I am totally clueless has just killed me. And very expensive killing of me also!
31st September! That's a good one. You know, once I spent a little while looking in my dad's work diary to see if this year my birthday fell on friday the 13th, then remembered my birthday was the 26th. My brain is so dumb!!! Makes no sense at all.
So glad it's not just me. Think the only time I feel ok at the moment is either when home with partner and no demands, playing with toddler (with no deadline or tasks needed to be done) or interacting on here with people who understand. Thanks for sharing the new date you invented.
Best of luck, Chelsey, and no you aren't being self indulgent in what you write about whilst the world devolves into horror around us.
There are a million people, news sites, traditional print media, progressive podcasters and the rest all covering those things. I know because it seems I have subscribed to absolutely every single one of them.
I came here for some peace from it and a reminder that I need to take care of myself and my problems because without doing so I can never be of any help to anyone else, at all.
So thank you for the past hour or two talking about some shared and some unshared issues with understanding and compassion. It was worthwhile you doing so, at least for one person, me.
Ben
You're describing some of my most familiar life experiences. I feel you and hug you. Compassionate understanding is needed.
It is! And it feels so relaxing when you get it. I get a lot from listening to the ADHD Adults podcast because they admit/don't shy away from how debilitating ADHD is. Lately, I'm really not getting any superpower vibes from diagnosis AT ALL! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment and sending a hug back! It's exhausting and infuriating so rest up without guilt whenever you get chance! <3
I'll look for that podcast! Cuddles with baby and cat for some profound healing (top in my list)
Trying to get the government to sway, esp with Stalin-mer in charge is like pouring petrol on trees to stop forest fires.
Yes, I didn't get very far!!! That might be why...
Gosh I sure do love you. I don’t even know you, but reading this is like a letter from a good friend. One WHO GETS IT. I can’t wait to read your book.
I like the honesty about the grim. They happened. They’re real. And when I hear your grimness, mine seems more bearable, normalized and easier to accept.
Thanks Celia! That is a lovely comment, and I appreciate it very much. It's really good to hear you a) have grimness and b) that reading about mine helps you with yours. It always feels wrong to post such honesty about the disaster I can be : D
So thanks for reminding me why I take the risk of doing it. And I hope you will love the book! It's really coming together and the urgency of looming deadline is finally kicking in... x
I almost don’t want to say this but since I quit my job I’ve drunk a lot less, particularly as I’ve settled into the peace of unemployment (I also don’t have kids)
When did you quit?? Unemployment sounds so peaceful. Though of course, a salary also brings peace. I hope you find a way to make things worse that doesn't require you to drink to cope. <3
I quit at the very end of August and yeah I will need a salary again soon but it’s been a great month! Thank you 🥰
I was so happy yesterday when I could use my accidental £99 Ancestry account to look up my neighbour’s family for him.
HAHAHAHA. We are a subscription services dream, aren't we???
Just say no! It’s the only way 😁
Ahhhhh this made me well up, can’t tell you how much it struck a chord. I’m not sure whether it’s the general horrific backdrop or something in the water recently, but a lot of my favourite sober neurodivergent writers seem to be going through this at the mo.
I sat in a pub last night nursing a 0% beer, bargaining with myself that if I still wanted a ‘real’ beer afterwards, I could have it. I’m so, so thankful that I finished that first one and hotfooted it home back to bed. The post-diagnosis outta-nowhere blues are the fuckin worst. Keep trying to tell myself that this just means I’m in the middle of the next breakthrough?????
Either way, solidarity and thank you again for always seeming to write my brain!! I really hope you can give yourself the continued compassion that you deserve; you’re trying your best xx
Oh, I am glad. Not that you well up, but that it struck a chord. Ok and prob that you well up cos impact. Hehe.
And well done for going home without giving in to the temptation!!! No small feat. I'm going back to AA, to see if it helps with my inner voice, which lately is a cruel master. I recall 'prayer' by which I mean talking to self/planet earth helped me have more loving self talk.
Also dreaming of creating whatever it is I need - maybe just a solidarity support situation...? But no bandwidth also so maybe not.
Yes, post-diagnosis outta-nowhere blues, really are the worst. I will tell myself the same thing. Heading for a breakthrough! It HAS to be true, right?????
What do you think about all the neurodiversity coaches? Do they just help us not to beat ourselves up? Wonder if it's worth a try or just more of the same stuff that doesn't work (oops, there's that world-renowned positivity again...)
Thanks for the solidarity. I'm trying again today to be compash. I really am trying my best! Sending the same ever-necessary message back to you, too. Goodest lucks!
Also, I just reread my post and DEAR GOD the typos. FFS. Ouch. Etc. Thanks for reading in spite of imperfectch : D
Yeah I'm looking to set up a support circle online, but I think for pre-diagnosis womxn for now, as I think they're often in even more of a pickle than we are??
The neurodiversity coach thing is particularly interesting to me lately, as I'm a quarter through a 2-year course - but it's for standard, neurotypical coaching/counselling, and I'm finding it quite difficult to translate the techniques into a ND-friendly approach. E.g. we are discouraged strongly from addressing things head-on or giving any obvious advice - unless directly asked (then still be very, very sparing), but I find as an autistic person, why the f would we want more smoke and mirrors!?!?!?!
Chelsey, I think we are genuinely living the same life in different bodies, in different countries: yesterday I got a letter from the council because I'd misread a letter about a missed payment plan payment (I had stored it in my head as 31st September - Jesus H Christ)... because the letter was also in Dutch and I just skim reads the bits I can understand. Not sure how I made a new date in the calendar tho... you're not alone.
Fascinating. I can totally see why not advised to give advice as people are complex and there are often no easy fixes or you are only getting a warped pov on the picture... Have you seen Peep Show when jez becomes a life coach It;s the best. (I might sack everything off and watch it myself actually, another day of disasters over here!!) He's like 'If you've *ever* thought of dumping your partner, you should ***definitely*** do it'
But yes dear god, as an autistic, therapists asking me qs when I am totally clueless has just killed me. And very expensive killing of me also!
31st September! That's a good one. You know, once I spent a little while looking in my dad's work diary to see if this year my birthday fell on friday the 13th, then remembered my birthday was the 26th. My brain is so dumb!!! Makes no sense at all.
So glad it's not just me. Think the only time I feel ok at the moment is either when home with partner and no demands, playing with toddler (with no deadline or tasks needed to be done) or interacting on here with people who understand. Thanks for sharing the new date you invented.