Narcissistic Triangulation Looks Like this

When I was nine years old I had a beautiful, charismatic best friend. Jessica was pretty, kind, clever and funny, and we had the best time together. Making up plays and dreaming of boys, we got on a treat if it was only the two of us. Add another player and we argued ferociously. Three girls equaled drama, kid me decided. But kid me was wrong.

Recently I discovered a more accurate hypothesis: we couldn’t have fun as a three because Jessica enjoyed narcissistic triangulation.

Narcissism in friendship

One sunny Saturday, Jessica, my official BFF, suggested we invite Lisa over to play too. Lisa was the girl who might replace Jessica in my heart if there was a best friend-related accident. It was exciting, having my two favourite friends over, but it was a big responsibility too. What would the three of us do?

Lisa arrived and the three of us sat in my bedroom, wondering what to do.

“We could go and play in the fields or paddle in the brook?” I suggested, but Jessica wasn’t enthusiastic.

"Maaay…