The importance of language when it comes to understanding ourselves
I’ve written thousands of words on the subject of whether or not I am an alcoholic. Because I got sober with AA, I needed to identify as an alcholic in order to get support. But it never quite felt comfortable, and I always added caveats.
Because I was never physically addicted. But also, I couldn’t quit by myself.
I was in the grey area between not having a drinking problem and being physically dependent. I was almost an alcoholic, and that was plenty alcoholic enough, thanks.
And so I quit. Hurray! That was almost six years ago.
I was lucky that I managed to fight through the bewilderment about the term alcoholic, and claim it for long enough that I was able to solve my biggest problem: accidentally getting drunk all the time. But how was it for you? Do you proudly identify as an alcoholic? Or did you never take to that term? Something in between.
My friend Dr. James Morris has created a fantastic podcast exploring similar topics that I discuss here at Beautiful Hangover. It’s called The Alcohol ‘Problem’ Podcast and he talks to academics and other alcohol professionals about how and why we drink and the place booze holds in our culture.
This week’s episode was especially fascinating as he talked to Dr. Lucy Foulkes about labeling and language in mental health, and what this can tell us about the same in terms of alcohol.
So, listen if you have struggled to identify as an alcoholic, and see what their conversation can offer.
And if you are newly sober and trying to find the ‘real’ you, then maybe you would appreciate the YES/NO challenge that I’m running on my other blog, Polite Robot. I created it as a way to help ‘unmasking’ which is something it turns out autistic people do to fit in (hiiiii), but I feel like it can help anyone be more themselves. My pal says its super helpful for her as a mum.
The idea is that you do one YES just for you and one NO just for you each week, as a means of moving you closer towards wholeness or integration or contentment or what-have-you.
Read the full invitation below:
Maybe you are still drinking but this week’s NO is to alcohol. Or maybe you’re sober and this week’s YES is to add something nice for yourself to your endless to-do list.
You decide and please feel free to share with me. <3
And remember - there’s no shame in getting addicted to something deeply addictive. But the fact is, it’s likely not going to get any easier to stop than it is this very moment. Many people learn how to live without booze, and many others learn how to moderate through things like mindful drinking. The trick seems to be, so far as I can tell, to stop trying to quit on your own.
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If you need help to cope with life, you’re not alone.
If you’re ready to try something different from drinking, read beautiful hangover and discover what I did to get freedom from alcohol. Do whatever it takes to stay sober for 30 days: go to your doctor, try Smart or AA or Hip Sobriety or Soberistas.
Listen to Recovery Elevator and SHAIR podcasts. Read This Naked Mind. Try Moderation Management.
There is a whole community of people waiting to help you. Reach out. Something better is waiting.
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Chelsey Flood is the author of Infinite Sky and Nightwanderers, and a senior lecturer in creative writing at UWE University. She writes about freedom, addiction, nature and love at Beautiful Hangover, autism and self-compassion at Polite Robot, and is also working on a non-fiction book about getting sober, and a new YA novel.