Just edited this as realised my friend sounded quite mean and unsympathetic, which wasn't how she was. She was sympathetic AND she didn't think the sad music was helping.
Totally get this- I spent 10 years listening to Elliott Smith because of the connection I had with an ex through his music, and it was like a form of self harm and definitely part of my addiction. Now I can listen to him and feel fine, thankfully, but it took a long time.
When I was listening to Linkin Park last year I suddenly realised all of the lyrics were mostly about addiction and abusive families, and I'd totally missed this as a teen. Now I can see it as an interesting story from Chester Beddingfield's own experience, like he's singing a share in a recovery meeting.
I think for the artist it's probably quite important to go through these creative processes, kind of like going through an addiction can sometimes lead to miraculous recovery and lots of good things. At the time it might not seem helpful, but on the other side it was the only thing available to help.
There's so much in this around masculinity I reckon too, I'm just not sure how to properly explain that train of thought.
That's a great way of interpreting it. I just always hope they have resolved some of these issues! The masculinity part is fascinating to consider too. I can be less forgiving of men suffering sometimes (like in this post, by mistake) without remembering their conditioning and how hard they can find it to reach out. I mean, I felt that way too. But it didn't subvert celebrated and expected ideas of my gender to then change and start to reach out and ask for help. So it probably was a lot easier because of that.
I think for me, music is often about feeling less alone, which tends to make me feel happier or at least more content that I’m allowed to feel like utter rubbish at times and that’s okay? (I do have a very limited pool of artists that I listen to, with one being a definite special interest of mine, so I don’t really know how that impacts my overall relationship with music, but I’d assume it likely does.)
Thank you for such a thought provoking post. There are so many things going through my mind as I read this. When I was young (a teenager and early twenties) music was a huge part of my life. I played music. I hosted a radio show. I printed a fan zine (this was the 90s, before blogs). I would write out the lyrics to songs I loved, painstakingly pausing and rewinding the cassette deck to make sure I got every word. I would sing along to songs loudly and defiantly from my bedroom. Music was a major outlet for me. I think it was a release. Also I think the lyrics of pop songs are a great way to access emotions when you are young and haven't really developed emotional self awareness. When I later studied poetry and literature, the pop lyrics in many cases felt so naive and silly. But still they held a lot of power for me. Then music became about shows and the culture and life around shows (drinking, in part). At some point it just started to feel like noise to me and I just kind of walked away from it. I haven't really thought much about it all but this is making me think...
I'm a singer and songwriter and when I'm in periods of distress I cannot tolerate listening to or playing any kind of music. It feels like music has too much power. I'll put on a podcast instead, or The Archers (yes I know I'm only 43). And when there have been times where I need to cry or express emotion, or when I've been seeking that low feeling (whether to hurt my self or for any other mixed up reason) I'll put on Duran Duran's 'Ordinary World' or 'Hurt' by NIN/Johnny Cash and within minutes I'll collapse in a sobbing heap. I guess that can be cathartic. Either way, it has to be my music. For some reason I cannot bear hearing other people listening to music and will constantly ask them to turn it down. I'm a dream to live with as you can imagine.
Just edited this as realised my friend sounded quite mean and unsympathetic, which wasn't how she was. She was sympathetic AND she didn't think the sad music was helping.
Totally get this- I spent 10 years listening to Elliott Smith because of the connection I had with an ex through his music, and it was like a form of self harm and definitely part of my addiction. Now I can listen to him and feel fine, thankfully, but it took a long time.
When I was listening to Linkin Park last year I suddenly realised all of the lyrics were mostly about addiction and abusive families, and I'd totally missed this as a teen. Now I can see it as an interesting story from Chester Beddingfield's own experience, like he's singing a share in a recovery meeting.
I think for the artist it's probably quite important to go through these creative processes, kind of like going through an addiction can sometimes lead to miraculous recovery and lots of good things. At the time it might not seem helpful, but on the other side it was the only thing available to help.
There's so much in this around masculinity I reckon too, I'm just not sure how to properly explain that train of thought.
That's a great way of interpreting it. I just always hope they have resolved some of these issues! The masculinity part is fascinating to consider too. I can be less forgiving of men suffering sometimes (like in this post, by mistake) without remembering their conditioning and how hard they can find it to reach out. I mean, I felt that way too. But it didn't subvert celebrated and expected ideas of my gender to then change and start to reach out and ask for help. So it probably was a lot easier because of that.
Thanks for giving me something to think about!
I think for me, music is often about feeling less alone, which tends to make me feel happier or at least more content that I’m allowed to feel like utter rubbish at times and that’s okay? (I do have a very limited pool of artists that I listen to, with one being a definite special interest of mine, so I don’t really know how that impacts my overall relationship with music, but I’d assume it likely does.)
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Judy (An Autism Observer)
Thanks Judy. I appreciate that!
Thank you for such a thought provoking post. There are so many things going through my mind as I read this. When I was young (a teenager and early twenties) music was a huge part of my life. I played music. I hosted a radio show. I printed a fan zine (this was the 90s, before blogs). I would write out the lyrics to songs I loved, painstakingly pausing and rewinding the cassette deck to make sure I got every word. I would sing along to songs loudly and defiantly from my bedroom. Music was a major outlet for me. I think it was a release. Also I think the lyrics of pop songs are a great way to access emotions when you are young and haven't really developed emotional self awareness. When I later studied poetry and literature, the pop lyrics in many cases felt so naive and silly. But still they held a lot of power for me. Then music became about shows and the culture and life around shows (drinking, in part). At some point it just started to feel like noise to me and I just kind of walked away from it. I haven't really thought much about it all but this is making me think...
I'm a singer and songwriter and when I'm in periods of distress I cannot tolerate listening to or playing any kind of music. It feels like music has too much power. I'll put on a podcast instead, or The Archers (yes I know I'm only 43). And when there have been times where I need to cry or express emotion, or when I've been seeking that low feeling (whether to hurt my self or for any other mixed up reason) I'll put on Duran Duran's 'Ordinary World' or 'Hurt' by NIN/Johnny Cash and within minutes I'll collapse in a sobbing heap. I guess that can be cathartic. Either way, it has to be my music. For some reason I cannot bear hearing other people listening to music and will constantly ask them to turn it down. I'm a dream to live with as you can imagine.
Listening to music while running at 180bpm is something I do to make a high mood higher