'“I don’t have accompanying intellectual disability,” I have said, as a way of explaining this disparity, or at least, making sense of it myself.'
That exact sentence seems to come out of my mouth reflexively whenever I tell someone that I was diagnosed autistic. I feel the need immediately to explain, or justify, being autistic when I know people "would never guess" that I could be. I appreciate the road you wind through in this post - it's one I travel on a regular basis!
Loved reading this, I really identify. It's a hard back and forth dialogue isnt it? But your conclusion is absolutely where I land - the reason I sought diagnosis, fought for it, worked hard for it (considering the entire process ironically challenged all the executive functioning issues I have), is because it was and still does, considerably impact my life in a way that causes me distress. And being able to name that distress not only helps me accept that my 'failures' are because of neurological differences (not moral or character flaws, thus alleviating a lot of shame) but also helps those around me to understand why these things happen
Hi Becky G! I'm so happy to see you in here. It IS a hard back and forth dialogue. I have the same thing with drinking/sobriety too. In some contexts (AA) I identify as an alcoholic, and in others (with friends/fam I used to drink with) I say I'm not really an alcoholic or that I was almost alcoholic or that I quit in order not to become alcoholic. And somehow, to me, it's all true! Maybe it's a kind of code-switching?
And oh my, doesn't pursuing diagnosis challenge the exec funcsh? Imagine if they said, "I'm sorry, the fact you were able to achieve this goal without a support worker has disqualified you from diagnosis."
It was a herculean task indeed!
Yes, it causes me significant distress, too. Every day (unless I can get away with not leaving the house, in which case I am often just having the greatest time ever, pottering and engaging with my projects/napping.)
How much do you think diagnosis has helped others around you to understand why these things happen? I feel like that part only comes if they then take a bit of responsibility for learning about what it is that you have been diagnosed with, which not everyone does, of course...
Thanks for commenting, it's lovely to hear your perspective, and helps me to clarify my own (while we are talking, at least) x
'“I don’t have accompanying intellectual disability,” I have said, as a way of explaining this disparity, or at least, making sense of it myself.'
That exact sentence seems to come out of my mouth reflexively whenever I tell someone that I was diagnosed autistic. I feel the need immediately to explain, or justify, being autistic when I know people "would never guess" that I could be. I appreciate the road you wind through in this post - it's one I travel on a regular basis!
Loved reading this, I really identify. It's a hard back and forth dialogue isnt it? But your conclusion is absolutely where I land - the reason I sought diagnosis, fought for it, worked hard for it (considering the entire process ironically challenged all the executive functioning issues I have), is because it was and still does, considerably impact my life in a way that causes me distress. And being able to name that distress not only helps me accept that my 'failures' are because of neurological differences (not moral or character flaws, thus alleviating a lot of shame) but also helps those around me to understand why these things happen
Hi Becky G! I'm so happy to see you in here. It IS a hard back and forth dialogue. I have the same thing with drinking/sobriety too. In some contexts (AA) I identify as an alcoholic, and in others (with friends/fam I used to drink with) I say I'm not really an alcoholic or that I was almost alcoholic or that I quit in order not to become alcoholic. And somehow, to me, it's all true! Maybe it's a kind of code-switching?
And oh my, doesn't pursuing diagnosis challenge the exec funcsh? Imagine if they said, "I'm sorry, the fact you were able to achieve this goal without a support worker has disqualified you from diagnosis."
It was a herculean task indeed!
Yes, it causes me significant distress, too. Every day (unless I can get away with not leaving the house, in which case I am often just having the greatest time ever, pottering and engaging with my projects/napping.)
How much do you think diagnosis has helped others around you to understand why these things happen? I feel like that part only comes if they then take a bit of responsibility for learning about what it is that you have been diagnosed with, which not everyone does, of course...
Thanks for commenting, it's lovely to hear your perspective, and helps me to clarify my own (while we are talking, at least) x