This is super helpful, thank you. Shortly after I was diagnosed, on a googling binge, I discovered alexithymia (through embrace-autism.com) and was really amazed by it. It seems to describe so much of how I experience feelings but I never had the language for it before. I haven't yet thought about what to do about it, I've just been sitting with the knowledge and awareness of it. As a reader (and writer) I think all these words are familiar (the names of the feelings), but it's hard for me to describe them. I might compare it to singing on key. I appreciate and listen to music, and I've tried quite a lot in my life to create music, but I really don't have a sense of pitch. I can't correlate a specific tone with its named note. If you ask me to sing an "A flat" I would just make a sound with no ability to sense if it was an "A flat" or something else (it's most likely going to be something else!).
The place I've noticed it most is when something bad or tragic happens, such as a relative dying, or news of somebody being in an accident. I don't cry, I don't necessarily feel bad, or sad - I don't know what I feel, and I don't know what to say or how to react. And then I worry I appear cold (or lacking a conscience).
Once again, I feel like I'm reading about myself when I read your articles. When I look at the feeling wheel, I know what most of those feelings mean but I just don't think I feel most of them or I can't identify that feeling in myself. It's frustrating. I see and hear people identify how they feel and I'm often left questioning myself on why it doesn't jump out at me. After I hear someone explain their feelings I can often understand it, and it makes sense, but unfortunately, they don't become obvious to me at the moment. I can identify the more central strongest one. Anger, Anxious, Sad, Ecstasy but I'm fairly numb to the more subtle feelings.
This is super helpful, thank you. Shortly after I was diagnosed, on a googling binge, I discovered alexithymia (through embrace-autism.com) and was really amazed by it. It seems to describe so much of how I experience feelings but I never had the language for it before. I haven't yet thought about what to do about it, I've just been sitting with the knowledge and awareness of it. As a reader (and writer) I think all these words are familiar (the names of the feelings), but it's hard for me to describe them. I might compare it to singing on key. I appreciate and listen to music, and I've tried quite a lot in my life to create music, but I really don't have a sense of pitch. I can't correlate a specific tone with its named note. If you ask me to sing an "A flat" I would just make a sound with no ability to sense if it was an "A flat" or something else (it's most likely going to be something else!).
The place I've noticed it most is when something bad or tragic happens, such as a relative dying, or news of somebody being in an accident. I don't cry, I don't necessarily feel bad, or sad - I don't know what I feel, and I don't know what to say or how to react. And then I worry I appear cold (or lacking a conscience).
Thank you for sharing these thoughts and ideas!
Once again, I feel like I'm reading about myself when I read your articles. When I look at the feeling wheel, I know what most of those feelings mean but I just don't think I feel most of them or I can't identify that feeling in myself. It's frustrating. I see and hear people identify how they feel and I'm often left questioning myself on why it doesn't jump out at me. After I hear someone explain their feelings I can often understand it, and it makes sense, but unfortunately, they don't become obvious to me at the moment. I can identify the more central strongest one. Anger, Anxious, Sad, Ecstasy but I'm fairly numb to the more subtle feelings.