I read this post because, like you, I'm on Substack's Home Page this month (eek! waheheh!) and I was curious to see what everyone else on it was writing about. Your posts are incredibly helpful towards understanding what anyone wrestling with autism in all its manifestations has to deal with - and deal with from people like me who are clueless and maybe be crass but don't mean to be. So I'm grateful to have had it so well explained without a pointing finger of blame, and hope, because of your explanations, I'll be found to be more open and empathetic in future.
Thanks Julia! Your newsletter looks fab too. Thanks for visiting mine, I'm just getting started so it's lovely to get a nod from Substack by being featured. Good luck with building your list!
I have started doing mindfulness videos of 5 minutes long many time through out the day about 5 through the night , longer twice a day so Incan be here now . Reset and recharge by pays secrets and a great meditation on intrusive thought. Because I am preparing to travel and social anxiety made me want to cancel however rehearsing going to temple meads and not getting in a train, talking and getting help from assisted travel all mean I feel safer in the world because the train driver and others will know I may need help , living in myy own head is lonely alannwatss is good to .talks about music and dance and also songs they are all ways to be in the moment and no getervif done quickly .
The last comment reminded me if this. I am slow at everything , hence on my own.
Thanks John Bradshaw, he knows about toxic shame and early years development on you tube may help you and Gabor Mate s podcast of 2 weeks ago, he has written a book,
I had an assessment , and was told I was quirky. I had no mother to back up any of my early years and a cousin who is 5 years old wrote something.
I worked out so that stuff have no friends but always get listened to now after learning assertivenes in December.
The thing I was worst at was not considering another person's needs so it's a firm of aggression or mostly Passive so never asking for what I need negating , thing others needs first without them knowing and clinging on for security.
However I never compromised my food recovery or alcohol recovery
Glad you have the rest of you life ahead of you and have not injured your body as I have with over doing excercise.
Anyway I wondered how you got your diagnosis so I am glad you write it.
Having the answer to a lifetime of difficulties is priceless. I was taking ballroom dance lessons with my partner. There was a sequences of moves we were to make that seemed to start out well enough, but after a couple of measures turned to disaster. I was stumbling all over her and my own feet. I was always in the wrong place and off beat no matter what I tried.
At last our instructor (this was a group class) took mercy on me and came and watched as we tried the whole sequence. I was focused on all the problems at the end. That's where the problems were, right?
Look, the instructor said, the problem begins way over here when you first start out. You're on the wrong foot to begin with and it just cascades until you are falling over. So we tried one more time, with me beginning on the correct foot this time, and it was like Dancing With The Stars. It was smooth and wonderful and fun.
Finding the spot where things actually got off track, rather than trying to solve all the resulting problems, is well worth the price of a great instructor, or a great diagnosis.
Thanks for your comment, Lari! I meant to come back and reply when I had more time, but I forgot. I wonder if Substack will notify you... Anyhow, this was such a lovely and useful analogy. Thank you so much for sharing - it makes so much sense. And that dance sounds wonderful <3
I read this post because, like you, I'm on Substack's Home Page this month (eek! waheheh!) and I was curious to see what everyone else on it was writing about. Your posts are incredibly helpful towards understanding what anyone wrestling with autism in all its manifestations has to deal with - and deal with from people like me who are clueless and maybe be crass but don't mean to be. So I'm grateful to have had it so well explained without a pointing finger of blame, and hope, because of your explanations, I'll be found to be more open and empathetic in future.
Thanks Julia! Your newsletter looks fab too. Thanks for visiting mine, I'm just getting started so it's lovely to get a nod from Substack by being featured. Good luck with building your list!
So glad you have all of this at your disposal now!
Thanks Soph!
I have started doing mindfulness videos of 5 minutes long many time through out the day about 5 through the night , longer twice a day so Incan be here now . Reset and recharge by pays secrets and a great meditation on intrusive thought. Because I am preparing to travel and social anxiety made me want to cancel however rehearsing going to temple meads and not getting in a train, talking and getting help from assisted travel all mean I feel safer in the world because the train driver and others will know I may need help , living in myy own head is lonely alannwatss is good to .talks about music and dance and also songs they are all ways to be in the moment and no getervif done quickly .
The last comment reminded me if this. I am slow at everything , hence on my own.
Thanks for sharing, Krysia. I relate to social anxiety making you want to cancel. It can be frustrating having to always push through, can't it?
Thanks John Bradshaw, he knows about toxic shame and early years development on you tube may help you and Gabor Mate s podcast of 2 weeks ago, he has written a book,
I had an assessment , and was told I was quirky. I had no mother to back up any of my early years and a cousin who is 5 years old wrote something.
I worked out so that stuff have no friends but always get listened to now after learning assertivenes in December.
The thing I was worst at was not considering another person's needs so it's a firm of aggression or mostly Passive so never asking for what I need negating , thing others needs first without them knowing and clinging on for security.
However I never compromised my food recovery or alcohol recovery
Glad you have the rest of you life ahead of you and have not injured your body as I have with over doing excercise.
Anyway I wondered how you got your diagnosis so I am glad you write it.
Having the answer to a lifetime of difficulties is priceless. I was taking ballroom dance lessons with my partner. There was a sequences of moves we were to make that seemed to start out well enough, but after a couple of measures turned to disaster. I was stumbling all over her and my own feet. I was always in the wrong place and off beat no matter what I tried.
At last our instructor (this was a group class) took mercy on me and came and watched as we tried the whole sequence. I was focused on all the problems at the end. That's where the problems were, right?
Look, the instructor said, the problem begins way over here when you first start out. You're on the wrong foot to begin with and it just cascades until you are falling over. So we tried one more time, with me beginning on the correct foot this time, and it was like Dancing With The Stars. It was smooth and wonderful and fun.
Finding the spot where things actually got off track, rather than trying to solve all the resulting problems, is well worth the price of a great instructor, or a great diagnosis.
Thanks for your comment, Lari! I meant to come back and reply when I had more time, but I forgot. I wonder if Substack will notify you... Anyhow, this was such a lovely and useful analogy. Thank you so much for sharing - it makes so much sense. And that dance sounds wonderful <3