Thanks for posting this! I can relate to a lot of it. I didn't hear many things from other people, but I did find myself drawn to stories about people in recovery (a book about writers who went to AA, podcasts on alcohol, etc). For me it was brother who had the problem, not me. I told myself I was looking into it out of concern for him. When I read the big book after going to a meeting, that's when a lot of phrases clicked and I started to be more honest with myself. Of the quotes you mention, I had a similar experience with the concept of "so what if you aren't an alcoholic but you just don't drink for a while?" When I thought about it that way I realized there was no excuse not to give not drinking a try and see what happened...
"You can get as well as you want to in this program"... because I saw some people in meetings who had the kind of life and happiness that I wanted very badly. I saw others who I definitely did not want to end up like, but once I heard this, they didn't matter anymore. I began tracking the people who had what I wanted, were getting really well, who were happy, joyous and free. And the others, they're not my problem.
Very good timing Chelsey, DISSAPOINTMENT is tough for me to process. I am pretty sure the way I drank covered it up in some way, but even then I got dissapointed and that led to my first addiction stuffing myself with food as I had no idea the emptiness and hollowness could pass. Admitting to being bored when others are not is also difficult.
I agree with you that to name emotions can help and finding someone who can help hold them and accept them till they pass. Copying a drawing or learning how to draw a bee this week helped me from a video. As well 3 minutes of quigong from a video and suddenly finding my body craved another 3 minutes.
Letting myself have breakfast in bed for 3 days and learn not to judge myself for helped me truly appreciate being dressed before breakfast today.
Thanks for sharing your growth Chelsey , I hear you doing a lot of exposure therapy.
Thanks for posting this! I can relate to a lot of it. I didn't hear many things from other people, but I did find myself drawn to stories about people in recovery (a book about writers who went to AA, podcasts on alcohol, etc). For me it was brother who had the problem, not me. I told myself I was looking into it out of concern for him. When I read the big book after going to a meeting, that's when a lot of phrases clicked and I started to be more honest with myself. Of the quotes you mention, I had a similar experience with the concept of "so what if you aren't an alcoholic but you just don't drink for a while?" When I thought about it that way I realized there was no excuse not to give not drinking a try and see what happened...
"One drink is too many and a hundred is not enough" pretty well captured where I was in life and that needed to change if I wanted to continue on
"You can get as well as you want to in this program"... because I saw some people in meetings who had the kind of life and happiness that I wanted very badly. I saw others who I definitely did not want to end up like, but once I heard this, they didn't matter anymore. I began tracking the people who had what I wanted, were getting really well, who were happy, joyous and free. And the others, they're not my problem.
Very good timing Chelsey, DISSAPOINTMENT is tough for me to process. I am pretty sure the way I drank covered it up in some way, but even then I got dissapointed and that led to my first addiction stuffing myself with food as I had no idea the emptiness and hollowness could pass. Admitting to being bored when others are not is also difficult.
I agree with you that to name emotions can help and finding someone who can help hold them and accept them till they pass. Copying a drawing or learning how to draw a bee this week helped me from a video. As well 3 minutes of quigong from a video and suddenly finding my body craved another 3 minutes.
Letting myself have breakfast in bed for 3 days and learn not to judge myself for helped me truly appreciate being dressed before breakfast today.
Thanks for sharing your growth Chelsey , I hear you doing a lot of exposure therapy.
Blessings Krysia