This resonates with me so much- thank you for sharing this. It's interesting because I'm also exploring this idea of "self" and understanding what it means to me after a lifetime of masking. I'm been ruminating on the idea of self acceptance (another post on that coming soon) and the challenge of self acceptance self-improvement. When I think of self improvement, I'm now thinking of how that is another way to describe masking in the guise of something positive. Your method of one yes and one no is intriguing to me because it is centering YOU rather than what you think you should say yes or no to, which is the way I've always looked at the world.
Reading this really strikes a chord - "The NOs are a trickier animal. Especially when it is in your nature already to resist everything." For me, no's are easy because it's in my nature to resist everything. And this is the part of my personality that has always gotten me in "trouble" with other people. When I am close to someone, it's exhausting for them to constantly face my resistance to every suggestion or idea. What I'm trying to tease out is when is saying no an important aspect of my self-acceptance and self-preservation and when am I just being difficult. Saying yes, for me, is actually much harder because I generally don't have much interest in trying new things (that sounds bad when I say it, but I think it's true).
Thanks for this. As usual I'm really looking forward to reading your reflections. Will reply properly when get time. Term has started again so I can't be here as much as i'd like, but I always really appreciate your thoughtful responses. Thanks 💙
This resonates with me so much- thank you for sharing this. It's interesting because I'm also exploring this idea of "self" and understanding what it means to me after a lifetime of masking. I'm been ruminating on the idea of self acceptance (another post on that coming soon) and the challenge of self acceptance self-improvement. When I think of self improvement, I'm now thinking of how that is another way to describe masking in the guise of something positive. Your method of one yes and one no is intriguing to me because it is centering YOU rather than what you think you should say yes or no to, which is the way I've always looked at the world.
Reading this really strikes a chord - "The NOs are a trickier animal. Especially when it is in your nature already to resist everything." For me, no's are easy because it's in my nature to resist everything. And this is the part of my personality that has always gotten me in "trouble" with other people. When I am close to someone, it's exhausting for them to constantly face my resistance to every suggestion or idea. What I'm trying to tease out is when is saying no an important aspect of my self-acceptance and self-preservation and when am I just being difficult. Saying yes, for me, is actually much harder because I generally don't have much interest in trying new things (that sounds bad when I say it, but I think it's true).
Thanks for this. As usual I'm really looking forward to reading your reflections. Will reply properly when get time. Term has started again so I can't be here as much as i'd like, but I always really appreciate your thoughtful responses. Thanks 💙
I am pretty sure that 'the good friend of a couple of yours' was also pretty happy, and actually relieved with your 'NO'
Lol. I wondered if you'd catch that 🤪
Obvs :)
Love this! Very inspiring!