I can relate to trackless days and an experience of directionlessness.
Also, ‘things’ have no inherent order (the existentialists got it right). I have it impose some internally generated order, or I’m left moving between what I’m currently doing to the next thing that’s present. Not sure if this is an executive functioning weakness or lack of self-created purpose, the creation of which takes considerable courage to come up with and follow through on.
Chapter 5 Section 5, called ‘The Gift of Expertise’ in Malcolm Gladwell’s book ‘Blink,’ talks about the 'Triangle Test' at the end of the section. In it, participants are forced to hold a flavor in memory for a moment to compare it to a flavor experienced later. It turns out poorly unless you have a way to maintain existence for the experience of flavor, which usually only comes with the language/distinctions of expertise.
This beautifully reveals a fundamental impermanence of existence and the need to create a structure to maintain existence for our fleeting, ever-changing experience with our invented language.
A self-generated and maintained purpose addresses much as to create such exercises/demonstrates, most importantly to ourselves, our ability to maintain existence without the external prompting of circumstances.
Having been the 'Lost Child' in family systems thinking, there was little to no external pressure to organize around, and perhaps, as gate theory suggests, after a point, without having exercised that muscle, it may not later respond or only respond minimally.
I’ve been approaching my ‘deficits’ from the idea of redefining (for me) what ‘error’ or ‘mistake’ means. This makes my deficits my friends rather than resisting them. This befriending grants some freedom around being in error, allowing a natural correction process to occur rather than tightening around errors, thereby making correcting much more difficult and possibly creating cascading errors where getting back on course becomes impossible.
Consider being in error a natural state and focus on the RATE of correction rather than the state of being in error.
Yes that was always said to me too - first in line for clever, last in line for common sense. Totally relate to all of this and the spiky profile. I am only a year in to knowing and there’s still so much to figure out
I hate the very mention of common sense tho can see I don't have it. But to me, it has never seemed common. The ideas of common sense, generally, never occur to me. And I grew up in a very practical, technically gifted family so it was tortuous to be this way! And to be a girl! (Or AFAB) as these traits were conflated which pushed my UNJUST! buttons.
Good luck with figuring things out and keep me posted on how you get on. 😊
Magnificent insights you really are carrying the message . You have overcome self reliance and experienced the vibrations of asking for help , receiving it and passing on what you have received and are receiving. Very comforting read. I hope you do let yourself have support workers , I have had a few and I improve on being clear about what I need and what and
When I get a no I expect that there is something better
Thanks, Krysia, that is very kind of you. I really appreciate you reading and commenting, it's been great to have your support. I'd love to gift you a subscription if you're ok to share your email. I could delete it after I collect it.
I would love some support. I was a bit disappointed (though not surprised) to discover there isn't much available for autistic adults without accompanying learning disability. I know I'm incredibly privileged but it is still challenging, doing all the things, and a support worker would mean I relied less on my partner too. We joke that he's the brains of the operation. And the memory.
I'm glad you've received some support and that it has helped. That sounds like a really positive change about hearing no and understanding that something better will be along. Inspiring. X
I would be honoured for you to share my email, I like the feeling of being valued for the real vulnerable authentic me. No need to delete .I will think deeply before I add or comment. Although I can say I am often disappointed and then lo and behold with patience persistence allowing myself to admit my expectation were other than I got , something else pops out where I get what I wanted but it's in a different time place or person .
Trouble with being autistic in my experience is I put people on a pedestal which does no favours to anyone you might enjoy changes grouos I mentioned it before because I find them really brilliant young people is your age group who admit they have a problem and it is based loosely on 12 step as we know it but also wildly wildly different. ,
I can relate to trackless days and an experience of directionlessness.
Also, ‘things’ have no inherent order (the existentialists got it right). I have it impose some internally generated order, or I’m left moving between what I’m currently doing to the next thing that’s present. Not sure if this is an executive functioning weakness or lack of self-created purpose, the creation of which takes considerable courage to come up with and follow through on.
Chapter 5 Section 5, called ‘The Gift of Expertise’ in Malcolm Gladwell’s book ‘Blink,’ talks about the 'Triangle Test' at the end of the section. In it, participants are forced to hold a flavor in memory for a moment to compare it to a flavor experienced later. It turns out poorly unless you have a way to maintain existence for the experience of flavor, which usually only comes with the language/distinctions of expertise.
This beautifully reveals a fundamental impermanence of existence and the need to create a structure to maintain existence for our fleeting, ever-changing experience with our invented language.
A self-generated and maintained purpose addresses much as to create such exercises/demonstrates, most importantly to ourselves, our ability to maintain existence without the external prompting of circumstances.
Having been the 'Lost Child' in family systems thinking, there was little to no external pressure to organize around, and perhaps, as gate theory suggests, after a point, without having exercised that muscle, it may not later respond or only respond minimally.
I’ve been approaching my ‘deficits’ from the idea of redefining (for me) what ‘error’ or ‘mistake’ means. This makes my deficits my friends rather than resisting them. This befriending grants some freedom around being in error, allowing a natural correction process to occur rather than tightening around errors, thereby making correcting much more difficult and possibly creating cascading errors where getting back on course becomes impossible.
Consider being in error a natural state and focus on the RATE of correction rather than the state of being in error.
Yes that was always said to me too - first in line for clever, last in line for common sense. Totally relate to all of this and the spiky profile. I am only a year in to knowing and there’s still so much to figure out
I hate the very mention of common sense tho can see I don't have it. But to me, it has never seemed common. The ideas of common sense, generally, never occur to me. And I grew up in a very practical, technically gifted family so it was tortuous to be this way! And to be a girl! (Or AFAB) as these traits were conflated which pushed my UNJUST! buttons.
Good luck with figuring things out and keep me posted on how you get on. 😊
Magnificent insights you really are carrying the message . You have overcome self reliance and experienced the vibrations of asking for help , receiving it and passing on what you have received and are receiving. Very comforting read. I hope you do let yourself have support workers , I have had a few and I improve on being clear about what I need and what and
When I get a no I expect that there is something better
Thanks, Krysia, that is very kind of you. I really appreciate you reading and commenting, it's been great to have your support. I'd love to gift you a subscription if you're ok to share your email. I could delete it after I collect it.
I would love some support. I was a bit disappointed (though not surprised) to discover there isn't much available for autistic adults without accompanying learning disability. I know I'm incredibly privileged but it is still challenging, doing all the things, and a support worker would mean I relied less on my partner too. We joke that he's the brains of the operation. And the memory.
I'm glad you've received some support and that it has helped. That sounds like a really positive change about hearing no and understanding that something better will be along. Inspiring. X
I would be honoured for you to share my email, I like the feeling of being valued for the real vulnerable authentic me. No need to delete .I will think deeply before I add or comment. Although I can say I am often disappointed and then lo and behold with patience persistence allowing myself to admit my expectation were other than I got , something else pops out where I get what I wanted but it's in a different time place or person .
Trouble with being autistic in my experience is I put people on a pedestal which does no favours to anyone you might enjoy changes grouos I mentioned it before because I find them really brilliant young people is your age group who admit they have a problem and it is based loosely on 12 step as we know it but also wildly wildly different. ,