In my last post, I wrote about how understanding executive functioning is improving my life, as well as how my struggles with it have held me back over the years.
I described it as an internal administrator who knows where all the information inside your brain is, and helps you to find it in a timely manner. Or not, as the case may be.
Writing this made me wonder, am I the only person in the world who didn’t know much about what executive functioning is?
Has anyone else found it helpful to learn about what it is they are missing here?
And what tips and tools have you come up with to help with deficits in this area?
I found it fascinating to find out about executive function and how a deficit in it explained some of my difficulties. I was always losing things, late, getting lost (I still haven't found a work around for that one as I find Maps hard to follow) and very badly organised.
I have found using a diary with lists (the belt) alongside my phone calendar (the braces) to be transformative regarding organisation and getting things done. Thankfully my organisational trousers rarely fall down these days. It's true that I do also minimise stressors though, meaning that I have less need to be organised.
Thanks for this, Kirk. I am really glad your organisational trousers mostly stay up these days. Excellent analogy.
What do you mean by minimising stressors? Doing fewer difficult things?
That's a tough one, isn't it? Because I don't want to be held back by my executive functioning deficit, but the fact is, that I am. And so pretending to be more capable than I am only gets me into trouble. And tires me out.
I don't want to get lost and exhausted every day, so when I am on my own time, I stay pretty close to home. I dream of a life in which everything I need is within 1/2 a km as I can probably manage about that much space.
As for tips and tricks, I am collecting them rapidly. I now have a digital watch with a timer on it, and a 'see time' timer which helps me to manage my time better. I still procrastinate endlessly, but alarms go off more frequently while I'm doing it.
I need more clocks. Maybe a clock in every room... Clock wallpaper?
Oh and I have a wipe-clean daily planner which is supposed to help me stay on task. But I find it hard to follow it, as I'm so impulsive. Still, this is an improvement, and these props help me avoid the feeling of the day being infinite which makes me super casual with my time.
So, yep, it's definitely a work in progress. Now I know what the issue is, I'm hopeful I'll find more strategies to help. I also think lessons will help as like I shared in the post, I really avoided practicing this stuff for a lot of years.
And a huge shift is that I no longer think I am just an idiot.
But yes, I know. How do you fix the getting lost thing when maps are completely illegible to your brain? I haven't worked that out either. I read the map so carefully, but somehow it doesn't match the world outside it, or it just flips halfway through or something. Inexplicable.
Have you seen The Good Place? Chidi calls his lack of sense of direction 'directional insanity' which I love, because it's exactly like that for me.
⏰⏳⌚ Haha, I relate to so much of what you say. Procrastination can be a major problem for me too. Sometimes I feel like my life is trickling away while I faff about being ineffective, but then I think the idea of always having to achieve things is mistaken. Happiness or contentment is what I aim for now, and that can come from sitting still and enjoying the moment or from finishing something that was a challenge.
A few years ago someone suggested to me using a pomodoro timer (there are apps) and I found that useful for a while. Another idea which works really well for me is to just do what comes to me in the moment. Some days cleaning just doesn't work and others I'm like a Superman with a duster. I say to myself when I'm struggling "don't think, just do" because I tend to think a lot.
By minimising stressors I mean that I take on less things. Like you said in Polite Robot, learning to say no. I found that really hard and at first but sticking up for myself is gradually getting easier. It's so freeing to care less and less what other people think of me. That has taken years though.
I married a natural planner/organiser. I feel really lucky with that because it takes all the pressure away, although I wouldn't have a clue how to cope if anything happened to him.
I found it really useful and totally identified with the idea that my internal admin assistant had gone on holiday and not told me. I get these moments when I start searching for something I've put in 'a safe place', and I've often wondered if I need to keep a list of notes where I've hidden things from myself! I was notorious for getting locked out of my house when I was younger and all the neighbours had to help because I kept losing my keys.
Google calendar has become my best friend in recent years, and I put things in there like cleaning so I don't forget. I've found this the most helpful when my deficit is more prominent.
Thanks Soph! I'm glad you found it useful. And yes, the 'safe place' is a problem, isn't it? Maybe you could send yourself an email with the item in the subject line and then the safe place in the body of the email?
Thank god for Google calendar. I don't know how I survived without it. Well, actually, I do, and it was not very well! I use it that way, too, for everyday things like chores and people I need to reply too. I just can't rely on my memory anymore, now I have so many different projects and responsibilities.
And that is quite a nice image of your neighbours helping you. Did they all have spare keys? I used to sometimes hide in the shed to avoid embarrassment. Not a great solution in hindsight!
Great idea! And yes totally relate to not being able to rely on my memory anymore.
My neighbours had spare keys yeah, but the really tricky bit is when they're all out too! I honestly don't know how I broke out of this cycle, something must have happened!
I found it fascinating to find out about executive function and how a deficit in it explained some of my difficulties. I was always losing things, late, getting lost (I still haven't found a work around for that one as I find Maps hard to follow) and very badly organised.
I have found using a diary with lists (the belt) alongside my phone calendar (the braces) to be transformative regarding organisation and getting things done. Thankfully my organisational trousers rarely fall down these days. It's true that I do also minimise stressors though, meaning that I have less need to be organised.
Thanks for this, Kirk. I am really glad your organisational trousers mostly stay up these days. Excellent analogy.
What do you mean by minimising stressors? Doing fewer difficult things?
That's a tough one, isn't it? Because I don't want to be held back by my executive functioning deficit, but the fact is, that I am. And so pretending to be more capable than I am only gets me into trouble. And tires me out.
I don't want to get lost and exhausted every day, so when I am on my own time, I stay pretty close to home. I dream of a life in which everything I need is within 1/2 a km as I can probably manage about that much space.
As for tips and tricks, I am collecting them rapidly. I now have a digital watch with a timer on it, and a 'see time' timer which helps me to manage my time better. I still procrastinate endlessly, but alarms go off more frequently while I'm doing it.
I need more clocks. Maybe a clock in every room... Clock wallpaper?
Oh and I have a wipe-clean daily planner which is supposed to help me stay on task. But I find it hard to follow it, as I'm so impulsive. Still, this is an improvement, and these props help me avoid the feeling of the day being infinite which makes me super casual with my time.
So, yep, it's definitely a work in progress. Now I know what the issue is, I'm hopeful I'll find more strategies to help. I also think lessons will help as like I shared in the post, I really avoided practicing this stuff for a lot of years.
And a huge shift is that I no longer think I am just an idiot.
But yes, I know. How do you fix the getting lost thing when maps are completely illegible to your brain? I haven't worked that out either. I read the map so carefully, but somehow it doesn't match the world outside it, or it just flips halfway through or something. Inexplicable.
Have you seen The Good Place? Chidi calls his lack of sense of direction 'directional insanity' which I love, because it's exactly like that for me.
⏰⏳⌚ Haha, I relate to so much of what you say. Procrastination can be a major problem for me too. Sometimes I feel like my life is trickling away while I faff about being ineffective, but then I think the idea of always having to achieve things is mistaken. Happiness or contentment is what I aim for now, and that can come from sitting still and enjoying the moment or from finishing something that was a challenge.
A few years ago someone suggested to me using a pomodoro timer (there are apps) and I found that useful for a while. Another idea which works really well for me is to just do what comes to me in the moment. Some days cleaning just doesn't work and others I'm like a Superman with a duster. I say to myself when I'm struggling "don't think, just do" because I tend to think a lot.
By minimising stressors I mean that I take on less things. Like you said in Polite Robot, learning to say no. I found that really hard and at first but sticking up for myself is gradually getting easier. It's so freeing to care less and less what other people think of me. That has taken years though.
I married a natural planner/organiser. I feel really lucky with that because it takes all the pressure away, although I wouldn't have a clue how to cope if anything happened to him.
I found it really useful and totally identified with the idea that my internal admin assistant had gone on holiday and not told me. I get these moments when I start searching for something I've put in 'a safe place', and I've often wondered if I need to keep a list of notes where I've hidden things from myself! I was notorious for getting locked out of my house when I was younger and all the neighbours had to help because I kept losing my keys.
Google calendar has become my best friend in recent years, and I put things in there like cleaning so I don't forget. I've found this the most helpful when my deficit is more prominent.
Thanks Soph! I'm glad you found it useful. And yes, the 'safe place' is a problem, isn't it? Maybe you could send yourself an email with the item in the subject line and then the safe place in the body of the email?
Thank god for Google calendar. I don't know how I survived without it. Well, actually, I do, and it was not very well! I use it that way, too, for everyday things like chores and people I need to reply too. I just can't rely on my memory anymore, now I have so many different projects and responsibilities.
And that is quite a nice image of your neighbours helping you. Did they all have spare keys? I used to sometimes hide in the shed to avoid embarrassment. Not a great solution in hindsight!
Great idea! And yes totally relate to not being able to rely on my memory anymore.
My neighbours had spare keys yeah, but the really tricky bit is when they're all out too! I honestly don't know how I broke out of this cycle, something must have happened!