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I resonate with a lot of what you write here. "I pay so much attention. I’m like a hypervigilant meerkat, repeating the dish names, and peering around for the owner with a terrified expression." <-- this is something I really get. I know the exact feeling. And I haven't had one of these group dinner moments in quite a long time (I'm hesitating on ever going to one again). I don't know if it's possible to have a life without burnout, but I think your ability to recognize it, write yourself through it, and acknowledge what you need is a powerful tool. I find that even in avoiding most of the things that cause stress (changing roles at work to something less stressful, not going to big events, taking lots of time to rest), little things still add up to the same impact. Today it's my volunteer commitments, which are modest, but which are causing me an undue amount of stress and anxiety for some reason... Thank you for sharing. It's helps us all.

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Hi Predisposition, I am replying to this very late. I hope you will see it! I really relate to the little things still making stress. I spent a year or two while I was getting sober trying to eliminate anxiety from my life, and it was impossible. I tried volunteering, but it made me anxious, as in I began to dread it because of the nerves. And I tried working in a library so as to have v little outward facing roles and almost no responsility, and i still had to lie down for hours after and sneak off for a nap during the shift. Not anxiety, but just exhaustion.

Writing really helps. And surrounding myself with people who understand and believe me. Who know it isn't laziness that sometimes takes me down. I try to be one of these people for myself, but it's hard. I'm still newish to being diagnosed tho so keep trudging towards progress.

And that maybe all sounds glum, but I love my new gentler life. It's much more manageable with less pushing myself and pretending. And today I feel especially hopeful about the future. When I drank, and before I knew why I found life so hard, I struggled to feel that.

Thanks as ever for replying, and for inspiring me to keep writing, too!

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I was so focused on asking for the bill the other day that once the bill had arrived and we were adding up the amounts we owed I stopped the waitress and asked her for the bill again. My brain just got fixed on that track I guess. Everyone was confused. My only current burnout cure is getting in bed and rewatching detective shows but I would like to find one that doesn't make me feel more drowsy and isolated.

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Hehehe. This made me laugh. I do that kind of thing, too. One of my favourites is saying Bye! with gusto well before the byes are really in progress. It's like I sense the bye is coming and I cannot hang onto it any longer. Byes actually take like ten minutes, too, I've finally worked out. Hard to explain.

Yes, I too tend towards burnout cures that make me feel drowsy and isolated. I wonder if that is a part of what needs to happen? Or if we will one day find some wondrous one in which feel connected and alert.

I guess lying down in the woods might do it, but when I'm burntout, I can't get myself to the woods.

Keep trying, and let me know if you discover The Secret! And until then, enjoy the legitimate and much-deserved rest of rewatching detective shows in bed <3

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Will.post more another time eyes are going funny ( forgot to put blue light glasses on .....oooh the glare

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Burnout a v real and true topic for.our ages .. some don't seem to experience it ... Running on Adrenaline ... Crash in retirement ?

It's interesting to learn about Autistic burnout and what helps with that .

As someone with severe M.E / CFS and fibromyalgia housebound for 1yr and partially for over 2 burnout is a visitor that came to stay ... You see she crawled along for so long running around with an adrenalized body and a fraught nervous system . Taking care of many others , , doing the social front to be liked and always looking for the next worldly high to feel excitement ( yep and was 10yrs sober ... Finishing work and collapsing on the bed , wondering ' what is wrong with me is this what getting older looks like ? Asking friends ' do u feel like this - does your body hurt a lot ?

I've had 4yrs of laying down a lot and I'm still knackered 😁 my poor body is a work horse in the knackers yard .

But at least now I have lots of quiet time , meditation is my friend and I'm not running around making things worse . My spiritual life is so much more beautiful and rich and I still love dancing all be it slight moves to radio 2 .

What don't I miss ' out there ' ...

Traffic oooh the loudness and all that metal nope don't miss that . The concrete there's soooo much concrete ...concrete jungle ...don't miss that .

I was out on Friday with my home help to go to the hospital.. last time I left the street was September I think . The 2 above mentioned items in the community were the ones glaringly taking front row oooohhhh the noise , the machinery . We went by some new builds down the road . Rows of apartments - empty boxes ooh no I said .

What was good about going out ? The trees all the trees ! Hello trees I said . Whilst outside the hospital in the wheelchair I said to my home help Pam ooh look at all those burnt orange plants . Dogwood she replied ... I was memorized by their lluminating warmth .

People, people were good to see, all going about their business . Lot of people at the hospital in wheelchairs so I was in company . It's funny being on this side of things it was me for years nursing and pushing wheelchairs .

Life changes.

Then I watched 2 young girls about 10yrs old playing a game they had made up involving running and climbing .... Such freedom such joy .

My friend said I'm an Anchoress like Julian of Norwich - a Christian devote hermet ... I've been reading about her and a book in the 13th century that informed qualities of that kind of lifestyle .

I can't socialise v much at all ... My nervous system is so fragile and it knocks on to the lack of mitochondria and the immune system . M.e is a multi systemic problem thought to be viral at its core . I'm following Medical Medium Anthony Williams . High nutrition / raw diet and supplements . The inflammation is Def going down as the body pain has reduced . There's hope ..

But whatever happens I know I can't and wouldn't want to go back to my old lifestyle and ways . I'm gentler and more authentically contained these days and I need to preserve that .

Id live a life keeping close to the church and nature ( which is what I do now ) and making gentle , nurturing authentic relationships .

Living lives that matches what we need to be intrinsically our inner gentleness is important I feel .

Good sources I've tapped into recently

Sarah Blondin - insight timer

Desert Island discs BBC sounds radio 2 - the latest one by Micheal Poplin writer , activist and keen Gardner ( and chooses some great 60s tracks ) .

Clifton cathedral Sunday mass on line

And finally looking at the sky - it's amazing !!

Keep well everyone

Don't let the world dictate you cause its a little bit crazy out there .

Be your true self and never feel shame for that ( but I know ......we do sometimes . Your a beautiful being living your light XX

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